We Should Talk
by CPDSVU
Summary: After being kidnapped, Hailey's more caught up in the aftermath than she'd like to admit. And as for Jay? The guilt of not being there for her is overwhelming. So what do two lost souls need on a late night more than a deep conversation over drinks? Nothing really, because it's their thing - the thing that works. A one shot after the events of 6x14.


Hailey sighed and downed the rest of the whiskey in her glass. She couldn't pretend that she wasn't relieved to have that conversation with Kim over with. It wasn't the company that bothered her as much as the talking points. She hated divulging her personal life to people. She always felt like she was exposing too much, like each piece that she shared was chipping away at that brick wall she had so expertly put between her and her colleagues.

Her mind immediately flashed to her partner, Jay. _Except for him_. He always made her feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable. She never felt like she had to hide anything from him. She hadn't felt that at ease with anyone in a long time. Her mind switched to Adam, which then made her pour another drink in frustration. _Adam. Adam was her boyfriend. So then why didn't she talk to him of all people? _She downed her third drink too quickly, setting the glass down with regret.

Why was she making this so fucking difficult for herself? Most people would want to talk to their significant others after having been through something so horrible. But not her. Like she thought earlier, it took a lot out of her to open up to people. It's not like she was the only one with trust issues. She remembered how rocky of a start she and Jay had when they were first paired up. He hadn't wanted to talk to her, or go talk to a shrink, but she wouldn't drop it until he got some help. He was pissed off at first, but he eventually saw the purpose behind it. He had thanked her in the end…for caring so much. And in turn, he had done the same for her last year when she had that tough undercover op. He came over, and despite her protests, got her to open up a little bit about how she was feeling. And he was right in the end, it had helped. So that became their trick to feeling better: long, late night conversations. And alcohol – lots of that was involved too. But it was mostly the talking that did the real healing. She always felt like she had it together again after Jay was gone from her home or bar or wherever they had decided to meet up. She went in damaged, and came out pieced back together. She smiled to herself, and dialed her phone.

Jay stirred from the couch. He must have fallen asleep there, as the TV light that was being emitted was soft and the volume was lower than normal. His phone was ringing, and with half lidded eyes he picked it up, uttering his usual greeting.

"Halstead."

"Hey. You up still or did I wake you?"

His eyes fully opened and he forced the sleep out of his voice. "Hey Hailey. No, yeah, I'm awake. What's up?"

He heard her lightly laugh into the phone. "Just wanted to take advantage of that thing that works so well between us, partner."

He got up off the couch, finding his jacket. "Sure. Molly's in 15?"

"Normally I'd say yes, but my face has seen better days. Would you mind just dropping by? Or I could come over to your place? Just real quick, I swear. I just have a lot on my mind."

_Yeah, I can only imagine. Jay flashed back to when he first saw Hailey and Kim outside of that crappy cabin in the woods. Adam and Antonio had been first on scene, and he was stunned when they brought the two women outside. _

_He hadn't seen someone so banged up since, well, since his own abduction 3 years ago. And that had been after a whole day. He saw all that blood on Hailey's face. And that was only after a few hours. His blood boiled at the thought of someone being so evil as to do that to anyone, let alone a woman. His partner, no less. _

_Adam was leading Hailey to an EMT when Jay ran up to them. "My god, Hailey. What the hell happened?" _

_Hailey looked up at Jay, her usual bright blue eyes clouded by fatigue and pain. She managed a slight smirk. "I'm fine, really." _

_Jay took a step closer to her. "Like hell you are." _

_Hailey smiled at him. "Jay–" _

_Adam coughed, interrupting her. "I got her, Jay. We're good." _

"_She's my partner. I just want to talk to her and hear that from her, if it's all the same to you." _

_Adam let out a heavy breath, ready to say something else to Jay before Hailey spoke. "Adam, it's fine. Just let us have a minute, alright? Why don't you check on Kim or check in with Voight and the rest of the team?" _

_Adam looked from her to Jay, and back again. "Yeah, okay." He nodded, adjusting his beanie before walking over to where the rest of the team was stationed. _

_Jay cautiously walked over to where Adam once stood, and sat down next to Hailey on the bed of the emergency vehicle. He couldn't even begin to fathom what went down for both Hailey and Kim. He wasn't sure if he was going to regret asking, but he decided to force the words out of his mouth anyway. _

"Jay? Hey, Halstead, you still there?"

Jay was shaken from his memory by the sound of Hailey's voice on the other end of the phone. He had been so caught up in his thoughts he had forgotten he was still talking with her.

"Sorry, I'm here. And yeah, me too. I'll be over at your house in 20."

"Man, it takes you 10…what else are you up to?" She asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.

"Someone's gotta make sure you've got the good stuff. And you never have any food in your fridge, so if I'm gonna be up at–" he paused to check the time on his phone. "–1:45AM, then you better believe I'm bringing snacks."

She laughed. "Fair enough. See you soon."

"Yep, sure will."

"And Jay?" She was so quiet he almost didn't hear her.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

He smiled against the phone. "No problem."

Hailey chuckled as she heard the doorbell ring exactly 20 minutes after she hung up the phone with Jay. She ran over to answer it.

"Always so punctual." She joked to him, eyeing his bag of snacks and beer.

"You ask, I answer." He kidded back to her. She moved to the side to let him through.

He walked into her kitchen and set the bag down on the counter. He handed her a beer from the 6-pack he had brought. She eyed him.

"What? I figured you had already been through your whiskey!" He smiled at her when she hit his arm.

"Not completely!" She said, trying to be serious, but she felt herself smile back at him. She could already feel the tension from earlier begin to melt away.

Jay had cracked open his own beer, and headed back over to her couch with a snack in hand as well. Hailey followed close behind him, taking a seat next to him like usual. She slowly opened her beer, hoping it would fill the silence that was already starting to form between them. No such luck. She could feel Jay's eyes on her.

She rolled her own eyes before taking a frothy sip. "Alright, out with it."

She saw Jay's brows furrow. "Out with what?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "With whatever you're dying to tell or ask me. Let's hear it, come on."

Jay sighed, looking over at her. He set his beer down on the table. Hailey watched as his expression grew to be one of seriousness and worry.

"Hailey, I just…I'm worried about you. I mean, everyone is. But I'm your partner. I should've been there…I should've been able to stop that son of a bitch from hurting you."

Her face softened. "Jay, we've been over this once before. I know you've been beating yourself up over that, but there was nothing you could have done! What makes you think that this is your fault?"

She could see the gears turning in his head as he worked on a reply. "H–nothing. Besides, I wasn't supposed to be the one doing the talking anyways. You were the one that said you had a lot on your mind."

She sighed, putting her own drink down next to his. She ran a hand through her hair. "It's just…I hate that I have such a wall up sometimes. I'm sure most people would be dealing with this in much better ways than I have been doing. And I just…God, I just have so many mixed up feelings about what happened."

Jay nodded. "And not just with the captivity, right?"

She nodded right back. "Yeah. Damn, it's like you read my mind." She chuckled, picking up her beer and gulping some more down.

"Well, you never told me how the conversation with Kim went. Did you want to start there?"

Hailey's eyes grew wide. "Fine. But if I sound nuts, you're not allowed to laugh at me. I'm still hurting, remember?"

"Got it." He motioned for her to continue.

"Kim wasn't the issue. It was the conversation part that was tricky. You know about my past…but not a lot of other people do. And I hate having to remember how ridiculous it was back then. For me at my job, I mean. I worked my ass to get that gig. And people still judged me. Hell, people still judge me. And I try…I try–"

Jay cut in "You try to stay in front of it, but it still gets to you. Hailey, that doesn't make you a bad cop. That makes you human. Remember what you told me the last time we talked? About letting things go…even though that's not really what you do? That's because you care. And you're a good person. It's normal to want to be respected. And in our field, hell, it's almost a requirement. But don't you dare let anyone make you feel less than. You should never feel like that…especially not after what you've been through now."

Hailey smiled at him, sucking in a breath to keep from getting too emotional. She hated doing that, even in front of the person she trusted the most in her unit for these kinds of things. She decided to turn the tables.

"Alright, I dropped all my shit on you, so what had you all riled up earlier?"

Jay shook his head. "Oh no, come on now. You're not getting off that easy. Are you sure that's all that was bothering you?"

Hailey fixed her eyes on his. "What's bothering me is that my partner's not talking to me. I spilled my guts to you. Your turn."

Jay relented. "Fine." He took a huge swig of his beer before continuing. "Remember when I paused on the phone with you earlier?"

She nodded, and he kept on. "Well, I was remembering when I first saw you after the cabin. And how much anger I felt at the guy that hurt you. And how much anger I felt at myself for not being able to help you. I mean, if I had been there sooner, none of that would've happened in the first place."

Hailey tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. "What in the world makes you think that? Jay, you were inside working the op. From what Atwater told me, you bolted as soon as he radioed. You both took off towards the van. You had no idea what was going down. You couldn't have known what was to come either."

"I know, but jesus Hailey. When I saw all that blood, I thought the worst. And I felt like I had let you down. You and Kim, but I mean…you and me, we're partners. And I wasn't there. That's on me."

"God, Jay, what do I have to do to get it through your head that I AM OKAY. Sure, I wasn't in that exact moment when you saw me in the ambo. But I'm good now. Yeah, I was banged up some, but nothing life-threatening. And I don't blame you…I know Kim doesn't either. What…did Voight say something after that whole speech of 'everyone goes home?' Help me understand, man. What. Happened."

Jay looked from Hailey to the floor. "No, Voight didn't say anything. It just, that memory, I mean, reminded me of what Adam had said to me on site. While we were trying to find you guys, he was angry. I mean, we all were, so it was understandable I guess."

"What was understandable?"

"He just had said that if me and Kev had kept a better eye out then you and Kim would've been alright is all. And he's not wrong, Hailey. I mean–"

Hailey's mouth dropped open. She forced herself to close it. "You mean nothing, Jay. He really said that to you? I can't believe this. He had no right. He wasn't even there."

"I know, and that's what I told him. Like I said before, just thinking of that reminded me of that heated moment. That was all. I just wanted to tell you again how fucking sorry I am. I swear to god if that prick hadn't gotten hit by that car, you better believe I would've had 10 minutes with him in the cage. God Hailey, he could have killed you. He almost did! And he could've done the same to Kim."

She placed her hands on his shoulders. "But he didn't. We're fine, Kim and I. You're fine. And you did nothing wrong, Jay. I'm so sorry if Adam made you feel any different. I…he can be a little off the rails sometimes…course, I'm sure you knew that already."

"Yeah, you could say that. Hailey, I just want you to know that I mean it when I say I'm always gonna be there. I'll never let you down like that again, I'll never leave you period. I can't…I can't lose another partner."

She pulled him into a hug. "You won't, Jay. I promise. I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
